Change

If we are willing to change ourselves then we're not focusing on knowing ourselves.
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How can we change ourselves without knowing who were in the first place?
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Its like trying to find a way to a destination using a map, without knowing where we are on it.
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Strangely enough, when we know ourselves, changing ourselves seems like an unnecessary thing to do.
 Why? Because, knowing oneself requires total acceptance of who we are.
This acceptance is not, "THIS IS WHO I WILL BE FOR FOREVER" but "THIS IS WHO I AM NOW"
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This acceptance brings about the capacity to observe correctly what's happening, without an eye on the end results, just total pure observation and studying.
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This observation leads to understanding, and that understanding instantly brings about a change in who we are.
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"I am afraid because I'm trying to get their approval, If I don't want their approval this fear won't even exist"
The instant this realization arises we stop doing the thing which was making us afraid.
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We don't try to get rid of fear, we only observed what was causing it, and understanding of that cause itself ended fear.
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This is why self awareness creates effortless changes where as trying to change ourselves keeps us where we are.